As you probably know by now, I divorced my ex-husband. It was a long and difficult process, but I made it through in one piece. When we were together, I was constantly thinking, “Is he cheating?” until I finally discovered he was having an affair with his coworker. Now that we’re divorced, I have an entirely new outlook on life. I’m no longer worried all the time and I’ve built my life back up again. If you’re in the middle of the divorce process, or you’re thinking about leaving your husband, here are a few tips that can make it a little easier.
Be Open To Change
Your life is going to change in so many ways, from the next few months to even a couple of years from now. And it’ll be more than no longer always suspecting, “Is he cheating?” or adjusting to life without him there. You might also have to reduce, or fully cut, contact with his family and friends. Unfortunately, mutual friends tend to take sides after a breakup. And it might not be yours. Plus, you may be living in an entirely different apartment or town, with new responsibilities and people to meet.
Restructure Your Monthly Budget
I definitely know how hard it is to go from being in a two-income household to living on my own. Because my ex-husband and I had been together for so long, I nearly forgot what it was like to be the only one in charge of my finances. I immediately reevaluated my finances once I knew the answer to “Is he cheating?” It wasn’t an easy process, but planning out how much money I would spend every month helped lower my stress levels.
Check In With Your Kids
If you have kids, no matter how old they are, they’ll be affected by the end of your marriage. That’s why you need to check in with them regularly and pay attention to how they’re feeling. Children can’t always makes sense of or verbalize their feelings. So, try scheduling appointments with a therapist, especially for art and play therapy sessions, to help them get through this distressing time.
Come To A Clear, Definitive Agreement
Yes, the divorce process can be awful, stressful, and expensive. But it’s designed that way so no one gets the short end of the stick. Just because you want to remain on good terms with your ex doesn’t mean you shouldn’t fight for what you want or need. Make sure that your agreement is drafted out with concrete language that can’t be misinterpreted. Both you and your ex will be thankful for it.
No matter how overwhelming divorce can be, don’t let it get the best of you. Just keep these tips in mind and you’ll get through it no time. Then you can start leading your own life, on your terms.